STOP. LISTEN. WATCH.

sometimes... i just wish i didn't have to always keep worrying and just LIVE life. Where is that balance of priorities + having fun? is there such a thing?

...What we begin to see is that we are not called to fulfill God’s purposes in our own strength and resourcefulness.  We are to trust in His.

This will be my prayer for a VERY long time...
Lord, I do not feel like a called person.  I have my list of reasons why I am not effective for you… but you already know them.  I confess my excuses as a lack of faith in Your ability to fulfill Your purposes.  I ask for You to reveal to me what my life is for.  Give me the patience to discover this as I pursue You.  Give me the faith to believe that You have appointed me…  Help me to see this today.  Amen.

“Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you.  Before you were born, I set you apart…”

struggle in the midst of the sun

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

oh how hard it is to follow God. When life throws it's garbage at me I feel so small and useless.  it becomes hard for me to see God's glory in the moment. I can only focus on my own failures and "should haves". Right now my hopes feel like they are sleeping from my mind and I can't be happy because I can only see the mistakes that i've made so far.

Oh how i wish I knew what career I wanted to pursue. Oh how i wish things were just clearer. Oh how i wish i could have turned in my inroads application sooner. Oh how I wish... *sigh* that is all that has been going through my head since 10am this morning.

At the same time I can see myself nagging to God and i bet you how annoyed he is right now :( I can see how satan is taking over my thinking. I must stay away from these negative thoughts.  But I so badly want to figure out a solution or just be given a sign of where He wants me to be! ughh... stop. stop being so selfish. maybe it is time for me to fast....