don't forget how to be thankful.

Failure.

how do i deal with something that isn't in my control. i feel like after every interview just stupid and a failure. Why doesn't anybody want me? What am i doing wrong in my interviews?How do i deal with rejection?

I feel like a bum. Not doing anything and just waiting for people to respond to my resumes. I need something to do. i wish someone would just hire meeee!! hire meeeee!!! why am i not good enough? why do i always fail at interviews??? ughhh..... life.

The Library Session #2

 Packing light 

I wish I could have known my internal world was telling me lies about my external world and what was happening in it. I wish I could have grabbed myself by the shoulders, shaken myself, and said "No one has anything you don't have! You have everything you need. You have as much control over your life as anyone! If you feel depressed, do something about it. If you feel stuck, flail around for a while until you get unstuck. If you feel trapped, kick down the doors that are keeping you in. Make messes. Make mistakes. Just make a decision, for heaven's sake! Quit waiting for life to happen to you. Whether you're sitting in a cubicle, or on a fifty-state road trip, it's no different. The control over your life you long for, it isn't elusive. You already have it."

The imperfect process of taking Courage

You don’t get to choose who your parents are.
You’ve got to accept who they are and the way they’ve raised you because that’s the only way they know how to.
You can’t blame them. You can only love them and understand they love you and they are trying their best to protect you from a tough world.
But sometimes, you just gotta say “enough is enough”. You’ve got to learn to make choices on your own.
Recently it’s become apparent that I haven’t broken out of my parents shell. *gasp* shocking, I know. Being the youngest and the only girl in the house, often my parents have made demanding decisions in my life. Some decisions better than others. And some where I seriously should have just learned on my own.

Obey, Listen & Choice.

a post that I am eager to write and will come soon.

Ramblinggsss....

Have you ever had those moments where... you just crave to be in communion with God? To just sit there, not do anything and just be in the presence of God. I'm craving it. I don't know why. I don't know if its because schools started and i just feel like not doing work. To put down the books, bible study stuff, writing/blogging and all the stuff of DOING something. But just sit there in the presence of God. I think i'm lacking in that area to just sit with God. I feel like I'm always searching, searching, and searching. But I think i've come to a point of being tired of searching. And I'm not talking about that emptiness searching, but that searching where you are hoping that if you search hard enough God will give you an answer.

The Library Session

"But the rest of the week, the days I live in the glaring harshness of an abrasive world? Complete loss of central vision. Everywhere, a world pocked with scarcity.
I hunger for filling in a world that is starved.
But from that Garden beginning, God has had a different purpose for us. His intent, since He bent low and breathed His life into the dust of our lungs, since He kissed us into being, has never been to slyly orchestrate our ruin. And yet, I have found it, when I read it, and I have to come back to it many times, feel long across those words, make sure they are real. HIs love letter forever silences any doubts: 'His secret purpose framed from the beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory' (1 Corinthians 2:7). He means to rename us -to return us to our true names, our truest selves. He means to heal our soul holes. From the very beginning, that Eden beginning, that has always been and always is, to this day, His secret purpose -our return to our full glory. Apalling -that He would! Us, unworhty and yetsince we took a bite out of the fruit and toreinto our own souls, that drain hole where joy seeps away, God's had this wild secretive plan. He means to fill us with glory again. With glory and grace. " - C.S. Lewis

"Our responsibility is to love Him, study His word, deepen our relationship with Him, and learn to evaluate our choices in light of biblical wisdom. If we're doing these things, we can make our decisions in the confidence that we aren't somehow missing God's will. Will we fail sometimes and make mistakes? Of course we will. But the possibility of failure should never paralyze us."